And the pressures on

Sometimes it still hits me that Im in Japan. I dont think I have fully grasped the concept that I live here yet, because I have been sooo busy since the second I arrived. I mean the day after I arrived was spent apartment hunting, then training began and right out of training I started working, then Justin came home, and now its like Im already settled in to my way of life here that I never had a moment to stop and think holy crap Im living in Japan! I mean its not like I wake up everymorning and say to myself Woohoo Im in Japan!! I pretty much go about my business here as if I were in the states. I get up, go to work, come home, make dinner (which is new to me), clean (another new concept to me) and my weekends are spent doing laundry and grocery shopping (both new concepts to me). Every now and again, like for example the other night, it will occur to me that Im in Japan and at that moment, the thought seems larger than life. Like the other night, I was sitting out on my balcony enjoying a cup of hot chocolate, staring into the distance at the city lights of Yokohama and the thought hit me. Its an awesome feeling, and I cant really describe it, other than the fact that it puts a huge smile on my face. Today was another day that this realization set in, but this one wasnt in such a good way. In all of my classes, at the end of each lesson the students have a speaking check in which I ask them questions related to the topic we covered, and evaluate their answers based on how well they grapsed the concept, and are able to speak the target expressions we covered in the lesson. Today was a speaking check day for my Speaking and Listening class. Nothing hard, I just asked them to give me 5 simple sentences about the natural disaster that they had been researching. Everything was going fine until half way through one of my students speaking check, she completely burst into tears. I felt so bad and didnt know what to do or say. I gave her a few minutes to calm down and pull her self together, but what I really wanted to do was give her a big hug and assure her that everything was gong to be ok. Thats when it hit me how much pressure is put on these Japanse students in school. She kept saying to me "My english is bad, my english is bad." I felt horrible because here I am, grading her on her english speaking skills, and there is so much pressure on her that she cant even make it through 5 sentences without crying. She ended up finishing her speaking check, but it made me feel like a mean or intimidating teacher when she cant even talk to me without crying. As if that wasnt enough for me for the day, I had been asked to sit in on an interview of 3 students who are interviewing to study abroad in Australia. Out of the 3 students they were only going to send two. I had been asked to come up with a few questions to ask the students so we could determine the best candidates to go. Half way through the interview, 2 of the girls burst in to tears. Again I just wanted to run and hug them and tell them that everything was going to be ok, but I followed along as the other teachers were doing and just sat and stared at them. I should also mention that you could cut the tension in that room with a knife! Im glad I was on the side that I was on, and not one of the girls being interviewed otherwise I probably would have cried too! Anyways today was a complete reality check for me and just a reminder that I am in Japan.

Aside from that I just got a phone call from my company saying that she just spoke with the director from the board of education for my school, and the director spoke with my school and they said they just love me and are really pleased with me. She also said "I understand you work with a JET (david) and the director of the board of education said your school said he pretty much copies what you do." Haha Im glad they realize that cuz lately Ive been doing ALL the lesson planning while god knows what he does. Its alot of work but I dont mind it though. Keeps me busy and at least I get to do lessons my way. :D